And overcoming low self-esteem: It's not a secret.
CAN'T FAKE IT
You can put on a happy face, stand straight, shoulders back, and try to be confident. But this, won't make you confident. Any depressed person could do that. Those are simply physical, replicable expressions of confidence. Confidence is a sense of belief in ourselves, that we are truly at peace with who we are now. It can only be felt. It can't be faked.
Everyone around you says," Just be MORE CONFIDENT, you got this,". But how?
REALITY
Feeling confident, and proud of ourselves is one of the best feelings in the world. Confidence comes from a feeling of competence. You know you're going to ace the test. You know you're going to steal the class' eyes during your presentation. Because you studied. Because you prepared. Maybe because you've done this countless times before, and it's second nature to you.
But not everyone feels that way.
Most of us tread through this cynical, pessimistic view of ourselves, dwelling in self-hatred and low self-esteem. We don't seem to have done anything worthwhile in our lives, which makes us feel unconfident about our ability to achieve anything in the future.
Do you now see it?
WHY?
You feel confident because you have achieved something in the past, which allows you to take on greater goals in the future.
You feel UN-confident because you have failed miserably in the past, discouraging you from taking on greater goals in the future, due to self-doubt about your competency. Your subconscious mind thinks," This guy never does what he says he will, idiot,".
So the case seems to be, if you feel confident, the only way to go is up. And the others have to just continue traveling down the rabbit hole of self-hatred?
Confidence arises when you place a sense of self-value and importance on yourself. Confidence arises when you achieve a sense of victory. So yes, it is possible for someone to pull themselves out of this rabbit hole and rise up the ranks of self-love and esteem.
I'M GETTING TO THE POINT, WAIT
Here's the key takeaway: You need to achieve small wins, every single day.
When you ACTUALLY do what you promise yourself to do for the day, don't you feel fulfilled, happy and purposeful at the end? Set yourself some practical goals, follow up on them, and tick them off your to-do list every day.
Here is where you develop the first sliver of confidence," Damn, I am ACTUALLY ABLE to do what I promised myself,". Through small wins like these, when you give your subconscious mind proof that it has a REASON to feel good about itself, true confidence ignites within your mind. That's when you walk taller, smile wider, and talk wiser, all of this genuinely. If you truly want to feel confident lifelong, ask yourself these questions: 1. What kind of person do I want to be in this world?
2. How can I live my life in a way I would be proud of?
3. What kind of habits does my ideal self have?
4. If I was my ideal self - how would I interact with the people around me?
5. How would I spend my time when nobody is around?
6. Does my ideal self make mistakes sometimes?
7. If so - how does my ideal self respond to them?
8. Would I learn from them and encourage myself to do better?
ONE
Feeling confident comes down to ONE, SINGLE principle. Achievement. Achieving what you swear you will. Achieving the values you vow to live your life by.
And achievement starts with action. Start with small wins every day, and develop the confidence to take on bigger challenges. It's just one uplifting cycle. Much appreciated for reading (show some support, with much gratitude), Your fellow Student.